When I started blogging four months ago (seems longer!), I was determined not to put a counter on my site. I didn't want it to matter whether people read my blog or not. I was going to blog because I wanted to practice thinking and writing. My blog was for me, even though it was public.
My dear wife, who had a blog of her own had encouraged me to start a blog, but now she wanted me to include a counter. As any husband can attest, it is nearly impossible to resist and insistent wife, so one night I enrolled my blog in sitemeter. My wife was impressed, and upgraded her counter to sitemeter as well.
Sitemeter tells you some interesting things about who reads your blogs. I don't have many readers, and I really am OK with that. A lot of them click over to my site from my wife's, so you could say that I'm riding on her coat-tails. But the really interesting visitors are the Google searches. I get a lot of international visitors to this post who are looking for information on euthanasia.
My wife and I were discussing our respective blogs the other night. She has a lot more people who read her blog than I have reading mine, so I asked her whether she ever feels pressure to put up a post. When you're posting new content daily, and you know that people are visiting your site daily, hoping to get new content, there is pressure. This blogging hobby has definitely affected my sleeping habits. Since it takes me a long time to write a post, and I generally don't get started until after the kids are put to bed, I find that I'm staying up fairly late, and still getting up early in the morning. I've rebelled a bit lately, consciously not posting so that I could watch TV with my Amy.
The transferral of thought to keyboard doesn't always go smoothly for me. Part of my reason for blogging was to practice that discipline. It doesn't seem to be getting any easier. When I think about things in my mind, everything is so coherent and elegant. Then I try to type it out, and it gets clunky (that is a word, isn't it? I'm pretty sure I've seen other writers use it.). Oftentimes, I'll find myself with several different things that I have thoughts, opinions, and reflections on, but I just can't find the time to record them all, and so they end up lost.
Which brings me to another reason why I blog. I have too many thoughts that, even if someone else has thought them before me, they are original to me. If I don't record them somehow, they drift away. So my blog is my way of trying to concretize and fix my thoughts. To that extent, there are some blog posts that are just for my sake. It doesn't matter to me whether anybody else appreciates them, because they are not the primary audience.
One thing that I find this blog to be very limited in its ability to do is to act as a journal of prayer. One of the basic elements of prayer is contrition. I am a sinner, and when I meet God in prayer, it is with the acknowledgement that I am weak. When I speak of my sins to God and implore his grace to overcome them, it is a private matter. There are, and always will be, elements of my interior life that will not appear in any public forum.
As I sit here, I can think of at least four things that I'd like to post on, but instead I'm typing out this rambling essay, because this is what I need right now. After I finish, I'm going to say my Evening Prayer and go to bed. Maybe the four will become posts in the future, or maybe they'll just drift away, as if the thoughts behind them never even existed.
Good night.
Showing posts with label Me and My Blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Me and My Blog. Show all posts
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Why I Joined
The news came out last week that the founder of the Legionaries of Christ and the Regnum Christi movement was not as saintly as the members of the order and the movement had been led to believe. There were some who wondered, in the wake of the discovery, what led people to join the Regnum Christi movement. I incorporated into the movement in 2001. I can’t speak for anybody but myself, but I’d like to share my reasons for joining.
The short answer to the question “Why did you join Regnum Christi?” is that it was the best of the alternatives available. There are three points that were important in my decision to join. First, there is a universal call to holiness. Holiness is not just for priests, nuns, and saints; every follower of Christ is called to strive for holiness. Second, doctrine and dogma are not incidental, but form the backbone of faith. There are a variety of competing doctrines within Christianity. Only the Catholic Church can claim the authority to distinguish the truth between competing doctrines. Third, all followers of Christ are called to the apostolate. Christ himself commissioned his followers to make disciples of all nations. Thus, we are called to share our faith with others.
When considering how to pursue holiness, I knew that the saints would provide good examples, and I found that the daily and weekly commitments for members of the Regnum Christi movement were tested and proven methods to achieve spiritual growth: Eucharistic adoration, Marian devotions such as the Rosary and the Angelus, frequent sacramental confession, weekday mass attendance, meditation on the scriptures, etc. I recognized, from the reading that I had done, that what the movement expected of its members was good and that it would draw a soul closer to Christ, as long as they were viewed not as burdensome duties but as acts of love.
The members of Regnum Christi are thoroughly Catholic. They love the Church and the Pope as the Vicar of Christ. When attending a mass celebrated by a Legionary priest, the reverence for the Blessed Sacrament and the care to perform the rite with fidelity is evident.
Finally, Regnum Christi members are typically very active Catholics. The RC members that I knew were active in the parish. In addition, they were involved in other programs that reached out to Catholics with the teachings of the Church, helping them to apply those teachings in their daily life.
There was no other group doing these things. There were no parish groups promoting a universal call to holiness. Individual Catholics were on their own to come up with their own plan for spiritual development, and there was no real encouragement to accept the challenge. There were some other groups, mostly farther away, that emphasized different aspects of spirituality, but many of them seemed passive or contemplative (almost feminine), rather than the active model presented by RC.
There were aspects of Regnum Christi that didn’t fit perfectly with my spiritual goals and needs, but the overlap was significant enough that I could overlook the rest. As I stated earlier, I became a member of Regnum Christi in 2001, and I have benefited from that decision. There have been and are aspects of the movement that I have not fully embraced, and given the new revelations about the life of the founder, I don’t know that I ever will. My goal continues to be to grow in holiness with fidelity to the Church, and I continue to discern whether the Movement to which I belong is the best way to achieve that goal.
The short answer to the question “Why did you join Regnum Christi?” is that it was the best of the alternatives available. There are three points that were important in my decision to join. First, there is a universal call to holiness. Holiness is not just for priests, nuns, and saints; every follower of Christ is called to strive for holiness. Second, doctrine and dogma are not incidental, but form the backbone of faith. There are a variety of competing doctrines within Christianity. Only the Catholic Church can claim the authority to distinguish the truth between competing doctrines. Third, all followers of Christ are called to the apostolate. Christ himself commissioned his followers to make disciples of all nations. Thus, we are called to share our faith with others.
When considering how to pursue holiness, I knew that the saints would provide good examples, and I found that the daily and weekly commitments for members of the Regnum Christi movement were tested and proven methods to achieve spiritual growth: Eucharistic adoration, Marian devotions such as the Rosary and the Angelus, frequent sacramental confession, weekday mass attendance, meditation on the scriptures, etc. I recognized, from the reading that I had done, that what the movement expected of its members was good and that it would draw a soul closer to Christ, as long as they were viewed not as burdensome duties but as acts of love.
The members of Regnum Christi are thoroughly Catholic. They love the Church and the Pope as the Vicar of Christ. When attending a mass celebrated by a Legionary priest, the reverence for the Blessed Sacrament and the care to perform the rite with fidelity is evident.
Finally, Regnum Christi members are typically very active Catholics. The RC members that I knew were active in the parish. In addition, they were involved in other programs that reached out to Catholics with the teachings of the Church, helping them to apply those teachings in their daily life.
There was no other group doing these things. There were no parish groups promoting a universal call to holiness. Individual Catholics were on their own to come up with their own plan for spiritual development, and there was no real encouragement to accept the challenge. There were some other groups, mostly farther away, that emphasized different aspects of spirituality, but many of them seemed passive or contemplative (almost feminine), rather than the active model presented by RC.
There were aspects of Regnum Christi that didn’t fit perfectly with my spiritual goals and needs, but the overlap was significant enough that I could overlook the rest. As I stated earlier, I became a member of Regnum Christi in 2001, and I have benefited from that decision. There have been and are aspects of the movement that I have not fully embraced, and given the new revelations about the life of the founder, I don’t know that I ever will. My goal continues to be to grow in holiness with fidelity to the Church, and I continue to discern whether the Movement to which I belong is the best way to achieve that goal.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Blog Posts
Earlier this week, I was thinking about what I wanted to post on my blog. Because of an article that I had read in First Things and the Israeli action against Hamas in Gaza, the Middle East was on my mind. I considered a post on Just War Theory, based on all the discussion from 2004, particularly by George Weigel and Michael Novak. I considered the similarities between the modern state of Israel and the Crusader Kingdoms of the 12th century, but then I read some history of the Crusades and concluded that the feudal system of government and the petty politics of the time made it way too complicated.
I really need to limit my posts to my areas of competence. The problem is, I don't have any. If I only posted on things about which I am an expert, I would have no posts. So be forewarned that any unattributed opinions you see on my blog are the ravings of a madman. Where they're anything more than that, I'll try to provide ample supporting links to more authoritative sources.
I really need to limit my posts to my areas of competence. The problem is, I don't have any. If I only posted on things about which I am an expert, I would have no posts. So be forewarned that any unattributed opinions you see on my blog are the ravings of a madman. Where they're anything more than that, I'll try to provide ample supporting links to more authoritative sources.
Friday, January 2, 2009
16th Anniversary
My dear wife has posted a video tribute on the occasion of our 16th anniversary. Thanks for the last 19 years (we dated three years before marriage), dear.
Friday, December 5, 2008
My Memory
I am often frustrated by the gaps in my own memory. I fear that I would make a lousy witness in a court of law. It seems as though I can remember insignificant details of events that don't matter, but remember very little about things that should be, to borrow a phrase from John Kerry, seared into my memory. So, for instance, I remember absolutely nothing from my first communion. I don't remember my high school graduation. I don't remember my wedding ceremony (although I do remember a few small details from the reception).
My memory makes it difficult to do theological reflection, and relevant personal anecdotes are few and far between. I've chosen to conclude that it means that I live in the moment. The past is behind me, the future ahead. It doesn't matter what I did yesterday, what matters is what I do today and tomorrow.
My memory makes it difficult to do theological reflection, and relevant personal anecdotes are few and far between. I've chosen to conclude that it means that I live in the moment. The past is behind me, the future ahead. It doesn't matter what I did yesterday, what matters is what I do today and tomorrow.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
What's In A Name?
"What's with Shadows of Augustine?" my wife wanted to know. "Where did you come up with that for a name?" I explained that I had, in fact, given quite a bit of thought to what I wanted to call my blog. The alternatives that I came up with were either pretentious or dorky. I couldn't even come up with anything that rose to the level of silly.
I settled on Shadows of Augustine for two reasons. First, Augustine is my favorite Church father. I once took an online quiz designed to identify the philosopher whose thought was the most similar to yours. I came out 99% Augustine and 99% Thomas Aquinas. Between the two of them, I find that Augustine has the more compelling biographical narrative.
The second obvious reason is that I belong to St. Augustine parish. I live within walking distance of the church, practically in the shadows of the twin steeples.
It made sense to me, and it satisfied my dear wife. Now any curious readers know too.
I settled on Shadows of Augustine for two reasons. First, Augustine is my favorite Church father. I once took an online quiz designed to identify the philosopher whose thought was the most similar to yours. I came out 99% Augustine and 99% Thomas Aquinas. Between the two of them, I find that Augustine has the more compelling biographical narrative.
The second obvious reason is that I belong to St. Augustine parish. I live within walking distance of the church, practically in the shadows of the twin steeples.
It made sense to me, and it satisfied my dear wife. Now any curious readers know too.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Why Blog
What leads a person to create a blog? The short answer for me might be that my wife told me to.
But there's more to it than that. I really had to consider whether it was nothing more than an exercise in vanity. Am I blogging because I think that anybody out there wants to read what I write? I'm not (at least I hope) that self-centered.
It really comes down to two things. First, I'm hoping that it will foster a deeper prayer life and relationship with Christ. I might be able to get the same thing, or perhaps more so, from a private prayer journal. Indeed, I have to be careful in my blog posts not to get too personal.
My second reason for blogging is that, once upon a time, I considered myself a pretty decent writer. It's a talent that has been neglected, but I keep getting little inspirations that I think might be coming from the Holy Spirit that this (not blogging, but rather larger writing projects) is what God wants me to do. So, by blogging, I can throw samples of my writing out for public comment and hopefully hone my own thought processes and the path from my brain to the keyboard.
Maybe I'm deluding myself and it all is vanity, but I can do nothing but trust in God and hope that I'm travelling the road he has laid out for me.
But there's more to it than that. I really had to consider whether it was nothing more than an exercise in vanity. Am I blogging because I think that anybody out there wants to read what I write? I'm not (at least I hope) that self-centered.
It really comes down to two things. First, I'm hoping that it will foster a deeper prayer life and relationship with Christ. I might be able to get the same thing, or perhaps more so, from a private prayer journal. Indeed, I have to be careful in my blog posts not to get too personal.
My second reason for blogging is that, once upon a time, I considered myself a pretty decent writer. It's a talent that has been neglected, but I keep getting little inspirations that I think might be coming from the Holy Spirit that this (not blogging, but rather larger writing projects) is what God wants me to do. So, by blogging, I can throw samples of my writing out for public comment and hopefully hone my own thought processes and the path from my brain to the keyboard.
Maybe I'm deluding myself and it all is vanity, but I can do nothing but trust in God and hope that I'm travelling the road he has laid out for me.
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